The Modern Hoyden

I had a bit of a weird interaction today while shopping for a bathing suit and I wanted to share it with you all because... WELP, it fucking bothered me. Now, I haven't bought a new bikini in probably five or six years. There are many reasons for this, but chief among them is the fact that my old black one still fits juuuust fine. I decided that that excuse wasn't good enough for me anymore because I am a goddamn sexy twenty-five year old woman and I deserve better bathing suit habits than someone's spinster aunt. So, on this rainy Friday morning, just ten short hours after crushing a 20 oz pint and a huge plate of poutine at the pub with my homies, I decided to take my bad self to the mall to try on some bikinis. I had previously avoided going into Swimco on my hunt because, even though that is where I got my last suit, they don't generally carry sizes above a D-cup and I have enormous cans. After not having much luck- and I'll be honest, I've been looking fo...

Every time a new year rolls around, I dub it MY YEAR. As in: "Okay, for real, 2016 is definitely going to be MY YEAR." Cue dramatic music. Now, I can't speak as to whether or not any previous years have actually been "my year." I can only say that every time January comes around again, I feel the need to renew the sentiment. Because when that last year ends, I'm left taking stock of my accomplishments. As in: "I really thought that in 2015 I was going to be working as an actor full time and be twenty pounds lighter even though I drink beer and eat donuts like I'm Homer Simpson." Invariably, no matter what strides forward I may have made, they seem insignificant next to the gaping hole left by the fact that my life isn't exactly what I imagined it to be . But, honestly, maybe 2016 IS going to be my year. Why? Because I feel like I've finally accepted the fact that life is never going to be exactly what I imagined it to be . That is a...