You know what's tough, world? Being female. Yes, it's true: being the prettier, curvier, boobier sex has its perks. Like... Boobs. They are awesome. We know this. And, to be fair, I'll reckon having two different chromosomes brings with it it's own fair share of hardships. I mean, I can only assume the dangly penis part whacks against things when you're running. Really shitty stuff, I'm sure.
But what I want to talk about here (Frankly, what I would talk about everywhere, to everyone, if I could) is being a young woman. Growing up booby, if you will. As most of you ladies out there can attest to: it fucking sucked. You're scared. You're body confuses you because it's getting hairy and lumpy and no matter what shape it is, it's incorrect. When you're alone you look in the mirror, next to all the posters and magazine snippets of people that are way more attractive than anyone you've ever seen with your bare eyeballs, and you quietly hum a ghostly a Capella rendition of Sesame Street's One of These Things is Not Like The Other over and over again.
Anywhoodles... alls I'm saying is: puberty was awful and it's always been awful. I can say with 100% (~70%) certainty that back in cavemen times, cavegirls would stare at cave paintings and wonder why their sabertooth tiger pelt didn't fall as flatteringly across their torso. True story. But (And here's where I really get into it. Let's see if the metaphor holds up.) I'm sure they didn't gaze longingly while listening to young, attractive caveboys tell them to hate themselves. WAIT! WHOA! WHAT? Yeah. You heard me.
Okay, so the metaphor kind of fell apart towards the end, but bear with me. I'm talking about music. I'm talking about popular or "pop" music, if you will. As someone who works in a mall, I'm pretty much forced to listen to top 40 hits in some capacity for approximately 8000 hours per week. And, let me lay it out for you, I'm appalled. Not just at the lack of complex chord progression, or the fact that most songs repeat the same hook over and over and over until I find my self brushing my teeth to the beat of a song that I haven't in eight hours.
No, not for these reasons, but I've noticed- and I'm sure I'm not the only one- a startling trend. Now, I'm no statistics expert, so I'm not sure what actually constitutes a "trend." And I've just started blogging, so I'm also unclear as to whether or not I am late to the party on commenting on these things, but I just gotta get my two cents in. Although, I guess now that we've done away with the Penny here in Canada, that would be rounded down to zero cents. So, I'll have to pitch in at LEAST three for it to mean anything, right??
Here. Listen to these pop songs that became horrifically, terrifyingly popular last year:
This fucking song and this other fucking song.
Oh, and here's one more fucking song, because apparently One Direction is getting Monopoly Man rich by cashing in on the stifling insecurities of teenage girls.
In case you are at work, or on the bus, or are just an asshole who can't be bothered to click those links, allow me to summarize. Above, I have included links to the following musical atrocities:
Let Me Love You - Neyo
You Don't Know You're Beautiful - One Direction
Little Things - One Direction
In these songs you will find lovely nuggets that clearly highlight what I am going to start referring to as the "Bella Swan Effect" or "BSE." So named for the leading lady in the popular movie and book series Twilight. You may have heard of it. Basically, BSE, stems from the fact that the character of Bella is a completely plain, boring, simpering female with no redeeming qualities who's entire universe revolves around her super handsome, sparkly two hundred year old boyfriend, Edward. I won't go into too much detail, because this post has already turned into a goddamn essay, but if you're curious, you can go ahead and just google "Why Bella Swan Sucks" and you will be led to THREE MILLION pages that can fill you in. Go ahead. I'll wait.
What Bella Swan and these songs are teaching our future 16 and Pregnant stars is that hating yourself = super cute boyzzzzz! As a reasonably well put together young adult, I can see what these songs were going for with lyrics like: "Girl, let me love you / And I will love you / Until you learn to love yourself" and "You don't know you're beautiful / That's what makes you beautiful." I am an eternal optimist, I like to think that these songs were bred out of a need to address the insecurities that young women have and say "It's okay, don't be so hard on yourself." But, in the mind of an oddly shaped twelve year old, this translates to the mentality that putting yourself down, means someone else will pick you up.
Trust me, in junior high, girls would say things to me like: "Wow, you're actually pretty!" (I shit you not) and if you responded with ANYTHING instead of the requisite: "No, I'm not. YOU'RE the one who's pretty" you were one fucking, nasty ass, self-centered, slutty ho. And that was even without One Direction crooning: "You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you" and having you're entire song that basically work out to: "You think you're fat. Well, you ARE fat. And sometimes I might tell you you're fat, but it's okay because I love you." Which, in my opinion, is essentially the lyrical version of an emotionally abusive relationship.
I don't know, maybe I've been reading too much Tina Fey and Caitlin Moran, and have become one of those raging feminists I hear so much about. But, I have to say, having grown up with pretty low self-esteem, I would have ATE THAT SHIT UP. And that scares me.
We should be teaching our young girls to become badass whirlwinds of female insight. Forces of nature. We should teach them to appreciate their bodies and their thoughts. We should be encouraging the next generation to cultivate a world of positivity that radiates from the inside out. We should be teaching them that being FUCKING AWESOME, not self-hate, is what will attract people to them.
Ungh! GET SOME.
/end rant.
-Megan
Anywhoodles... alls I'm saying is: puberty was awful and it's always been awful. I can say with 100% (~70%) certainty that back in cavemen times, cavegirls would stare at cave paintings and wonder why their sabertooth tiger pelt didn't fall as flatteringly across their torso. True story. But (And here's where I really get into it. Let's see if the metaphor holds up.) I'm sure they didn't gaze longingly while listening to young, attractive caveboys tell them to hate themselves. WAIT! WHOA! WHAT? Yeah. You heard me.
Okay, so the metaphor kind of fell apart towards the end, but bear with me. I'm talking about music. I'm talking about popular or "pop" music, if you will. As someone who works in a mall, I'm pretty much forced to listen to top 40 hits in some capacity for approximately 8000 hours per week. And, let me lay it out for you, I'm appalled. Not just at the lack of complex chord progression, or the fact that most songs repeat the same hook over and over and over until I find my self brushing my teeth to the beat of a song that I haven't in eight hours.
No, not for these reasons, but I've noticed- and I'm sure I'm not the only one- a startling trend. Now, I'm no statistics expert, so I'm not sure what actually constitutes a "trend." And I've just started blogging, so I'm also unclear as to whether or not I am late to the party on commenting on these things, but I just gotta get my two cents in. Although, I guess now that we've done away with the Penny here in Canada, that would be rounded down to zero cents. So, I'll have to pitch in at LEAST three for it to mean anything, right??
Here. Listen to these pop songs that became horrifically, terrifyingly popular last year:
This fucking song and this other fucking song.
Oh, and here's one more fucking song, because apparently One Direction is getting Monopoly Man rich by cashing in on the stifling insecurities of teenage girls.
In case you are at work, or on the bus, or are just an asshole who can't be bothered to click those links, allow me to summarize. Above, I have included links to the following musical atrocities:
Let Me Love You - Neyo
You Don't Know You're Beautiful - One Direction
Little Things - One Direction
In these songs you will find lovely nuggets that clearly highlight what I am going to start referring to as the "Bella Swan Effect" or "BSE." So named for the leading lady in the popular movie and book series Twilight. You may have heard of it. Basically, BSE, stems from the fact that the character of Bella is a completely plain, boring, simpering female with no redeeming qualities who's entire universe revolves around her super handsome, sparkly two hundred year old boyfriend, Edward. I won't go into too much detail, because this post has already turned into a goddamn essay, but if you're curious, you can go ahead and just google "Why Bella Swan Sucks" and you will be led to THREE MILLION pages that can fill you in. Go ahead. I'll wait.
What Bella Swan and these songs are teaching our future 16 and Pregnant stars is that hating yourself = super cute boyzzzzz! As a reasonably well put together young adult, I can see what these songs were going for with lyrics like: "Girl, let me love you / And I will love you / Until you learn to love yourself" and "You don't know you're beautiful / That's what makes you beautiful." I am an eternal optimist, I like to think that these songs were bred out of a need to address the insecurities that young women have and say "It's okay, don't be so hard on yourself." But, in the mind of an oddly shaped twelve year old, this translates to the mentality that putting yourself down, means someone else will pick you up.
Trust me, in junior high, girls would say things to me like: "Wow, you're actually pretty!" (I shit you not) and if you responded with ANYTHING instead of the requisite: "No, I'm not. YOU'RE the one who's pretty" you were one fucking, nasty ass, self-centered, slutty ho. And that was even without One Direction crooning: "You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you" and having you're entire song that basically work out to: "You think you're fat. Well, you ARE fat. And sometimes I might tell you you're fat, but it's okay because I love you." Which, in my opinion, is essentially the lyrical version of an emotionally abusive relationship.
I don't know, maybe I've been reading too much Tina Fey and Caitlin Moran, and have become one of those raging feminists I hear so much about. But, I have to say, having grown up with pretty low self-esteem, I would have ATE THAT SHIT UP. And that scares me.
We should be teaching our young girls to become badass whirlwinds of female insight. Forces of nature. We should teach them to appreciate their bodies and their thoughts. We should be encouraging the next generation to cultivate a world of positivity that radiates from the inside out. We should be teaching them that being FUCKING AWESOME, not self-hate, is what will attract people to them.
Ungh! GET SOME.
/end rant.
-Megan
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